Things have just been kinda... here. Days are flying by, life is carrying on.
We got back from Disney last week. It was great to get away and be together as a family. It was also very hard. Everywhere we went we seem to see little 2 year old boys. I had wanted to make this trip last summer... that obviously didn't happen.
When the idea came up about going this year, I shot it down. I didn't want to go, if he wasn't going to be there. How could we take this fun filled, kid- oriented, family vacation.. without our whole family?
Nathaniel had such a good time. He was overwhelmed with it all and wanted to go full speed ahead to do it all! I am glad that we chose to do this for him. It was truly all about him.
It was so hard to have the happy moments... guilt set in at times that I could even allow myself to have so much fun, and be so excited for Nathaniel... when Brayden wasn't here to share it with. Brayden would have LOVED this trip... so many things we did would have been so much more fun with him here and I can't even imagine how he would have responded to alot of it. To hold his hand as he met Mickey, to sit close on a fun ride, to watch him run and play with his brother...
Brayden, you are so missed. In our hearts you truly came on this trip with us. I can't express how much we wish you could have been here, and been able to experience these things.
We made you a special hat... to remember that you are a part of this family, ... forever. And that you were apart of us, and with us.. on this special family trip.
I have also decided to start another project. A few people told me about occasions they had done this and how neat it was. This time I am attempting the Brayden Memory Project. Asking friends, family, teacher, etc.. anyone who knew Brayden, to share one memory with us. Hoping many will write a memory on special paper and send it/give back to us. I will making a book of all the memories to keep, share, and treasure.
I will share more about this as it gets more together...
I love you baby boy. I miss you more than words can say.. so much my heart aches for you. To hold you, see that sweet smile again, hear that amazing laughter...
This family will never be the same again..