Friday, January 4, 2013

Changes for 2013

There are changes on the horizon.  This new year is about new changes, positive changes, in so many needed areas of my life.  I can't keep on like I have been.  My family deserves more, my children deserve better, my friends deserve more.. and I deserve more.

2012 was a really. difficult. year. 
This year MUST be better. 

I am determined. 

One of the things I am changing is this blog.  One of the good things that came out of last year was the realization of many things about myself, my thought process, and ways to help myself. 

Some of the best advise I recieved was that Brayden can no longer be center.  I won't forget him.  I won't stop thinking about him.  I won't let others forget either.  But I can push him out of the forefront of who I am, and stop letting other parts of life pass me by.  And put him in line with everyone and everything else as it should be.  I blogged more about this HERE
So.. I have decided to change this blog.  Instead of being completely focused on Brayden, I want to focus it on my journey of life.  The ups, the downs, the celerbrations and the tears.  Some that may involve Brayden and others that share of the life before me, the life of my 2 other beautiful, growing, and amazing children.  

Writing really is therapeudic for me and I hate that I don't have, er. a... take the time to write more.
Life gets so busy and it's hard to remember the little things... or even the big things.  I want this blog to be a place where I do just that. 

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Always Remember

One of the hardest things about a new year

another birthday

the passing of more time...

is the fear of forgetting.

I feel as though so many things are already hard to remember

What did he smell like?

What did his laugh sound like?

What did he feel like?

I wish I could run my fingers through his little curls

kiss his forehead

cuddle him for hours. 

Today I try to remember

wishing I could buy a cake

plan a party and have presents to rip open

but instead Im just missing him. 

And making sure that everyone around me... always remembers.