Our worship leader sang a song by Keith Green that spoke to me...
My eyes are dry My faith is old
My heart is hard My prayers are cold
And I know how I ought to be
Alive to you and dead to me
But what can be done For an old heart like mine
It hurts. I feel numb and hard, sad and cold. I know where I ought to be. I know where I want to be. Getting there just feels so difficult.
By taking a look at a oh so familar passage, I was reminded of some amazing promises and truths. Psalm 23
"The Lord is my Shephard, I shall not be in want, He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul..."
The last few weeks have been difficult. I feel as though I have been negative. Wallowing in my own pity. It is so easy to focus on the difficult areas of life. So easy to remind myself how
impossible hard this year has been. How encouraging it is to be reminded that "God specializes in possible cases." Matt. 19:26
..."With God ALL things are possible..."
I am loved by the creater of the universe. My Heavenly Father holds us in the palm of His hands... and I desire to remain right in His grip.
I believe He is God. I believe He is able.
I believe He is my Comforter.
But there is more to it than just believing.
"I know where I ought to be..." Just how do I get there?...
..."If you Return to me, I will restore you so you can continue to serve me..."
Being Restored takes action. Not only do I need to believe, and want my shattered heart to be healed; I must Return to God. This requires me to make those steps in Faith He calls us to take. Truly putting my Trust in Him and laying it ALL down at His feet.
Only then, will He restore me... so that I can continue to serve Him.
This is my desire. To Serve Him. To be used by Him.
I want to be ready, open and willing to whatever it is that God has for my life.
To make good out of tragedy.
All of my life, In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing,
I have a reason to worship
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides
And this is my prayer in the fire,
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames
And I will bring praise I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
All of my life In every season
You are still God I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow
Thank you Lord, that in ALL things.. you are still God. Give me the strength to take the steps you are calling me to take. The courage to return to you, that I may be restored.
I WILL make it through this grief. I CAN be happy again. I WILL be there for my children, like they need me to be. ...one step at a time, I WILL be restored.