Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Life with 3

I often find myself thinking about what life would be like....

toting around 3 kids

trying to put 3 children to bed

getting out of the house with 3

loading up 3 kids in/out of the car

feeding 3

settling down 3

attending to 3

Lately, this has been on my mind more as I have spent a lot of time with my nephew and now one of my best friend's sons. Many days I've been able to experience life with 3.

My friend and her son have been with us for about a week. It has been so nice to visit and spend time together after so long. Feels like nothing has changed, we picked up right where we always were... together... chatting late into the night... being goofy and laughing together... crying and sharing our struggles...

But things are not the same... life has changed... for me.

Seeing the boys together has been bittersweet. I love that they are older now and able to play together. I love that we are still friends after so many years and are now having children that will grow up together. But I hate that one is missing. I wish so much that Brayden was here.

It's hard to see Nathaniel playing with other little (younger) boys... wondering what life really would be like if he were with us.

Would they get along? Would they play together well? Would Nathaniel be the protector? or the bully? Would Brayden follow him around and want to do everything like Nathaniel does?

The way it's suppose to be... with 3.

Nathaniel is suppose to have someone to play with, and share life with everyday. My boys should be growing up together... as brothers do.

fighting over toys, wrestling on the floor, getting into mischief together, keeping each other up, creating imaginary adventures , destroying the playroom, giggling together...

How I would love to know how it would be... to live life with 3.

1 comment:

Mark's Mommy said...


Your friend Angie here...Mark's mommy.

It is so interesting that this particular post is very similar to the one I just posted on my blog. Our grieving hearts wonder the same "what could have been". We have so many hopes and dreams that were created the day that our sons were born, only to be shattered too soon.

Keep sharing them with us and keep sharing your memories.

Your friend in Christ and in grief,

Mark's Mommy