Friday, June 3, 2011

Not Enough

Grief sucks
I feel knocked off my feet again.
The weight is heavy on my chest.
I can't see past this storm.

My head hurts
My emotions are raw
My eyes are puffy
I've had my cry.... more than one.

But tonight, its not enough.

I hate this feeling.

I've given my time
I've shared my heart
I've tried to make a difference
I've tried to make his life carry on

But tonight, its not enough.

I just want him here.

I've screwed up in so many areas
I feel so disoriented ...with life.
I wish things would stop spinning around me
And life would pause

But tonight, that wouldn't be enough.

I just want things back the way they were
It hurts.
It sucks.
Its unfair.

Yet, Its my reality.

Tonight, nothings good enough.

3 comments:

A Mother's Love said...

I came across your blog and read your story about Brayden. I am so sorry about your loss. What wonderful and caring parents you are to Brayden and your other kids, it shows on your blog through your words. We too lost our son, to SIDS years ago.
Kelley

Mommyof3gifts said...

Thank you so much for your comment and sharing obout your story... Your kind words mean so much. I am sorry to hear about your son as well... to lose a child is truly the hardest thing to endure and something no one can understand until they have lived our shoes.. Blessings to your family!

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