Not Enough

Grief sucks
I feel knocked off my feet again.
The weight is heavy on my chest.
I can't see past this storm.

My head hurts
My emotions are raw
My eyes are puffy
I've had my cry.... more than one.

But tonight, its not enough.

I hate this feeling.

I've given my time
I've shared my heart
I've tried to make a difference
I've tried to make his life carry on

But tonight, its not enough.

I just want him here.

I've screwed up in so many areas
I feel so disoriented ...with life.
I wish things would stop spinning around me
And life would pause

But tonight, that wouldn't be enough.

I just want things back the way they were
It hurts.
It sucks.
Its unfair.

Yet, Its my reality.

Tonight, nothings good enough.