Tuesday, January 5, 2010


Happy Third Birthday Brayden!!! We love you and miss you soo much!!
We sent some balloons up your way today.... Praying Jesus will catch them for you and put a smile on your face...

What a celebration it must be... a Heavenly birthday! I asked Jesus to give you some special hugs for me... I bet Pop Pop and Mr. Gary are partying it up with you!

Can't believe your three. What I wouldn't give to have a peak into what that would be like.
At the grocery store today the gentleman preparing the balloons began asking me questions. "Who are the balloons for? Oh, How old is he? What did you get him for his birthday?" and on and on...
I know he was just being sweet and having conversation. If only he knew...
I found myself lying through me teeth. "They're for my son. He's three. He just loves blue and orange, thats all. Gifts? Oh you know, lots of boy stuff! Dinosaures, Cars, Balls, etc... "
I kept myself together. Not sure why I lied. But how do you answer that question? How do you say, Oh... these are just to be released. They are in memory of my son who died a year and a half ago. It is his birthday, he'd be three today.
I just couldn't find it in me to say the words.
So I didn't. And the story remained a lie.
Truth be told... I have no idea what I would have bought. I hate not knowing what Brayden would be into these days. It's hard to admit that I can't even fathem what gifts I would be giving my three year old lil boy today.
How would you and Nathaniel interact? He misses you alot. We talk about you often.
He ran with your balloon today. Said it was fun to watch the balloon trail behind.
Is that what it would be like? To watch you trail behind your bubby as you ran across the yard...
What a scene I would love to see...
All we can do is send our love. Cherish the memories, and hold you in our hearts.
Well, we sent you these balloons today. Three blue, for my three year old boy... and 2 orange, just because it was your favorite my favorite color on you.
They together represent the 5 of us. For we are, and will always be, a family of 5. (unless God decides to change that by adding more!)

Happy Birthday Brayden! I love you so much Baby Boy... and miss you terribly on this special birthday!
...your Three!


mommy of Five said...

in that last picture, the balloons that Jake is holind... it's forming a heart shadow..... LOVE praying his love carries you through!

Anonymous said...

Been thinking of you all is so many ways. Lots of prayers and hugs to you all, Jess S.

Mark's Mommy said...

Even though the day has passed, I am thinking of you and your family today.
We released balloons at our son's grave this past July for what would have been his 3rd birthday too.
I have to tell myself every day that God has everything under control or else I wouldn't make it. This is all so unfair.
I can't wait to hold Mark again and meet little Brayden...I pray that the years pass quickly here for us.