Wednesday, November 11, 2009

a good cry.

Tonight as I rocked Ellie to sleep, I couldn't hold back the tears.

I was taken back to the nights I rocked you to sleep...

It still hurts so much... I miss you more than words can say.
Yet, the tears don't come as often. The thoughts are not so overpowering.
Life is moving forward.
I guess thats a sign of healing. a new part of this grieving journey. But it still sucks.
It makes me feel guilty, in a way that is hard to express...

I talked about you today. We talked about your birthday. Talked about what we will do. How will we celebrate this year.

What would we do if you were here?? I'm sure it would be a blast. Something like chuck e cheese. I can't believe you'd be 3...

I wish I could make you a cake.
I wish I could decorate and celebrate anyway you would like.

Instead, We will just celebrate the life you lived. Celebrate the time we shared. and take time to remember.

My arms still ache to hold you,
My lips to kiss your forehead.

No real rhyme or reason for the tears today.
Just missing you
tonight made me feel just a little bit better..
tonight I had a good cry.

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