I am so thankful for every day, every moment we were able to spend with him.
But it wasen't enough.
Time still moves on... life moves forward.
As hard as it is to fathem that ...
Today marks the time that Brayden has now been gone, longer than he was with us...
That's hard to admit. hard to comprehend.
It brings new fears... fears of feelings of forgetfulness. Of feeling like he will be less and less remembered. I can't seem to find the right words, the right emotions or whatever to make sense of these thoughts and feelings.
The mark of today... It somehow brings fears of his life loosing value. I guess this is really my fear of what others might think, or feel.
..as if that should matter.
But it does.
I want his life to be validated. Remembered. Important.
He was Here... he made a huge impact... and
No matter how many days, months, and years pass by... the 17 months and one day we were gifted to spend with him will always be just as special. Will always mean just as much, and will be treasured forever.
Not much to be said. Not much to feel. It just sucks.
He's been gone too long.