Saturday, December 25, 2010


It's that time of the year... the hustle and bustle has begun. People are busy, shopping, and getting ready for Christmas! It's a time for giving, a time for families, a time for memories.

We woke up this morning at my in- laws house. We try to do Christmas with each side of the family every other year, alternating with Thanksgiving. So this was the year to be in Maryland. Because Elliana aws born so close to Christmas the year we would have come up here last, this is actually the first year we have been here on Christmas day since 2007. It didn't even dawn on me until we were here. Sitting on the couch, seeing the live tree full of colorful glass balls and tinsil. The memories starting flowing back. It hit with a flow of emotions. In the pit of my stomach the realization caused a churning and an ache. December 2007, the one and only Christmas we were granted to share with our precious Brayden... was here, with Gramma and Papa. I could see the memories like visions or flashbacks. I so treasure these wonderful moments we have captured through beautiful pictures. Yet the longing came back like an unexpected title wave.
What a joy it is to see Elliana smile in delight as she and Nathaniel help Gramma finish decorating the tree. How fun it is to sit around the table with everyone. The excitment filled the air as Papa, Daddy and Uncle Brendon play with the kids.
Yet the void is so ever present.

What I wouldn't give to have him here with us today. How I would give anything to be able to make these memories and share these memories with him. How exciting it would be to have all three of them together. Candy, chocolate, and cookies galore and treats for breakfast. It's definately Christmas.
But it's just not the same.

The kids were so excited to run downstairs this morning to check on whether or not Santa came! Paper was ripping, trash was flying and the room was full of excitment. Ooh's and ah's could be heard around the room as all the new presents were being discovered.
I am so thankful for these moments, so blessed to create these memories, so love the joy all around...

Just missing him today... in a big way, and wishing he was here with us.

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