Today I helped out a friend of mine by watching her son while she took her younger one to the doctor. This particular litte boy is 3 years old. He was born just shy of 3 months after Brayden.
Though its hard and painful sometimes, I love to sit and watch him. How he interacts, what he is learning, how he talks...
Is this what my Brayden would be like?
As I see the kids sitting on the couch together it looks like a picture I should see everyday. Three children sitting together.. 6, 1, and 3.
As I see Nathaniel play with him I imagine how my boys would play. I have to giggle at how they get along as brothers would. The love hate relationship feels so natural and thanie gets annoyed with how he doesn't do things the right way, or follows him to much, etc.
These things I miss.
These things I should be experiencing.
These things I wish I could see... and live.
Today.. I am missing three.
Missing the feeling of having three living children.
Missing what it is like to have a three year old.
Missing my baby boy... who has left such a void in our family
... and an emptiness in my heart.