Each day I am amazed by the internet... I have made some incredible connections over this thing called the world wide web and I am so thankful. I know that even though I may never meet many of these people, or families in person, they will forever have made an impact in my life.
I've heard it said that the hardest situation to go through.. is your own. I have found so much truth to this. It is human nature to want to try and comapare things or make ourselves feel one way or anyother about what happens in life. But truly no one knows what your going through more than yourself. We will NEVER be able to really feel what someone else is feeling. As bad as each story may sound.. our own story, our own journey is the hardest to walk. Because that is the one we are faced with each day.
There is something about reading the stories of others who are going through this difficult journey of loosing a child that are comforting... at moments I feel guilty for feeling this way. But then I realize that it is all we can do... to try and lift one another up, encourage or even just validate eachothers feelings. I hope that I can do the same through my story and help someone else.. I HATE that this had to happen... I HATE that I had to loose MY son... and I never wanted to be able to help someone else because I have been through it... It wasen't suposed to be this way..
But it is. and daily I am trying to accept the things I've been handed. I know that God's plans are greater than my own, I know that in HIS time He will use this situation, my life, Brayden's life... for good. Right now I still see through the glass darkly... I pray that He will help me to see through His eyes and to be open to be used how He wants me to be.
So many families are going through the same things we are. So many Mommy's and Daddy's have empty hands and are grieving the loss of one of their own. It seems so unfair. This is the club no one wants to be in. Yet it is where we all find ourselves.
Knowing we are not alone, that we are one of so many.. makes a difference. Seeing those that are "making it through" and are further in their grief, gives me Hope. The road will get easier... though there are bumps and curves, we will find our way like many others have.
This has just been a ramble of thoughts but I felt like sharing... thank you to all those that care about me and my family. Thank you to those who have reached out, and been transparent enough to share your story with me.